Loving Our Neighbor When the Road Is Hard (Matthew 22:37–39)

I remember the first time I really sat with Matthew 22:37–39, not just read them. The weight of loving God with everything I had was already heavy enough. But then came that second part: love your neighbor as yourself. In a world that has never made it easy for us to love ourselves (let alone the people who sometimes hurt us), that command feels almost impossible. Yet it’s the very thing that has kept me standing.

Loving your neighbor, especially as a Black woman in America, often means loving through weariness. It means showing up for the sister who’s tired of explaining herself at work, the aunt who carries generations of pain in her shoulders, and even the stranger who doesn’t see your struggle. It doesn’t require grand gestures. Sometimes it’s a quiet text that says, “I see you.”

But keep in mind: You can love your neighbor and still protect your peace. You can pray for the one who dismissed you and still set boundaries. That is not weakness; that is the wisdom hard times teach you.

Here’s the important part: loving your neighbor must start with loving yourself. Recognize that you are God’s beloved, too. When you rest, you are loving your neighbor because a rested woman can offer real, not resentful, love. When you forgive yourself, you learn how to forgive others. That is the heart of this scripture: a love that holds both truth and grace, even when the world doesn’t give it back.

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